Seriously, I’m the biggest procrastination ever. And not too long ago, I was not in very pleasant ”place”, but somehow I’m trying to leave that and move forward. It’s really hard to find power in yourself and work with yourself. It’s a little bit hard thing to do, when I’m at university and have a lot of going on there, but now, my priorities is not that. My priority is me. It always should be like that, but sometimes I can get easily lost in my tiny, lonely world.
Anxiety and depression can easily ”catch” me especially if I’m too scared to leave my apartment. The last few weeks showed me, that by leaving my apartment, doing something, that does not give time to my brain to establish, feel anxiety, is the best option for me. But then, I can be super lazy and stick in my apartment by doing nothing, just because I was too lazy or just because I was not ”feeling” it. And at the end of the day, when I spent the whole day surrounded by 4 walls I feel super bad about everything. Feels like, I don’t have life, I don’t see good in this world and I’m too scared to face this world. Well, I have to make my life more interesting, because it kills me to have the same weekends just anxiously staring at the ceiling. I want to ”feel” life.
I’m interesting person, because it works for me if I have schedule. I need to have schedule/timetable to follow, because I would be lost otherwise. I like to plan things out, before everything so here is my schedule that now I want to stick with and be proud of myself once this month.
7:00 am – wake up.
Have big breakfast, do my skincare, makeup, wash dishes, read the days wisdom calendar..
8:30 am – leaving my apartment.
9:00 am – 3:00 pm lectures.
3:30 pm – going for a workout.
∼ 5pm – back from a workout.
Have shower, make myself some dinner and then studying.
Woke up. Leave my apartment. Go to the gym. Go somewhere.
It’s a little bit tricky to have a schedule that even includes minutes, because some days I have a lectures at chemistry faculty, than laboratory works and stuff. I aim to workout 5 days per week. That’s my goal. It’s really great rehab, just to spent your time at the gym, working out, it really clears your mind in a good way. Also, I’m able to see so many interesting people in the gym. It makes my boring, lonely life a little bit more exciting.